Support for your child

Peer support

Family members, friends and professionals can be a great source of support. However, they may not have lived experience as a gender creative A term that refers to children who identify and express their gender in ways that differ from societal and cultural expectations. Some gender creative children grow up to be trans and some do not. child or their parent.

Sometimes, it can help to connect with other people who have walked a similar path. Shared experiences can give you insights and better understanding.

Many parents, caregivers and children benefit from peer support. Check out our Peer Support Directory for information about groups in your area.

Professional support

Often, parents wonder when and if they need professional support for their child. Many gender creative A term that refers to children who identify and express their gender in ways that differ from societal and cultural expectations. Some gender creative children grow up to be trans and some do not. , Two-Spirit A term used within some Indigenous communities to reflect complex Indigenous understandings of gender and sexuality and the long history of sexual and gender diversity in Indigenous cultures. Two-Spirit encompasses sexual, gender, cultural and spiritual identity. It may refer to cross-gender, multi-gender or non-binary gender roles, non-heterosexual identities, and a range of cultural identities, roles and practices embodied by Two-Spirit peoples. Some people also use "2-Spirit" or "2S." (Source: Battered Women’s Support Services) and trans children thrive within supportive environments and have no need to see a care provider (such as a counsellor, psychologist, doctor or pediatrician) for gender-related care. But sometimes, things in or outside the family might cause stress and make accessing professional support necessary.

Children need timely professional support if:

• They are in distress or are showing signs that they are struggling to cope with gender concerns or other issues
• They need gender-affirming medical care, such as puberty blockers A group of medications for youth that temporarily suppress or inhibit puberty by suppressing the production of sex hormones and preventing development of secondary sex characteristics. around the time of puberty

Having a gender-affirming care Processes through which a health care system cares for and supports an individual while recognizing and acknowledging their gender and expression. provider is very important. As a supportive adult, you can play an important role in finding support for your child and family. This may include help related to gender exploration and identity or other issues of childhood and wellness. 

Parents and care providers may benefit from professional support to help them better understand gender development and how to manage their own fears, concerns over their child’s gender identity A person's deeply held, internal sense of themself as male, female, a blend of both or neither. (Source: GenderSpectrum.org) and expression.

Mental health & psychosocial support

We all experience ups and downs, and often our own strengths, family and friends are enough to get us through. However, significant distress may not resolve on its own, and it may be necessary to get professional help to keep your child safe and well. If your child is very anxious or depressed, harming themselves or considering suicide, please help them access professional mental health support. 

Your child may also want to connect with a counsellor for reasons unrelated to distress. For example, counselling may be beneficial if your child wants help exploring, understanding and expressing their gender.

Counsellors can help with things such as: 

• Working through their understanding of their gender 
• Navigating peer relationships
• Dealing with social dynamics and harms such as transphobia 
• Considering options, such as puberty blockers around the time of puberty

If your child wants to see a counsellor and you need help finding one, visit our Finding a Counsellor page for some guidance. 

Many professionals may provide psychosocial support, including counsellors, school support workers, social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists. Health care professionals can also provide assistance related to support options and plans at school and in the community.

Mental health & the family 

Professional support may also be helpful if you or other family members find it challenging to cope. 

Siblings may need support dealing with changes in the family, especially if they feel that their trans sibling requires a lot of support. They may also experience challenges in their social environment related to transphobia.

Staying connected as a family will contribute to overall wellbeing. Try to find time for fun and activities together. 

For more information, check out the section Support for You.

Gender-affirming medical care

Your child may require professional support if they need gender-affirming medical care, such as puberty blockers. 

If your child may require puberty blockers, it’s important to begin this conversation with your family's health care provider and child well before the onset of puberty. There are a number of steps involved, which may take time to navigate. You may also need to travel for care depending on where you live. 

If your child is approaching puberty and access to puberty blockers has become urgent, try to locate a health provider experienced in providing gender-affirming care and be sure to emphasize the time sensitivity of your child's needs. 

Visit our Puberty Blockers page to find out more.

Finding appropriate health care

Not all health care providers have training and experience in gender-affirming care. We recommend seeking out care providers who have experience working with trans, Two-Spirit and non-binary Umbrella term referring to people whose gender does not fall within the binary gender system of woman/girl or man/boy. Some individuals identify as non-binary while others may use terms such as gender non-conforming, genderqueer, or agender. Non-binary people may or may not conform to societal expectations for their gender expression and gender role, and they may or may not seek gender-affirming medical or surgical care. youth, or providers willing to learn how to provide the best possible care. 

To find an experienced health care provider near your community, visit Finding a Primary Care Provider or contact the Trans Care BC health navigation team for more information. 

Resources

There are many books that feature gender creative A term that refers to children who identify and express their gender in ways that differ from societal and cultural expectations. Some gender creative children grow up to be trans and some do not. and trans characters. 

Children’s books

• 47,000 Beads (Adeyoha)
• 10,000 Dresses, Marcus Ewert (Seven Stories)
• The Adventures of Tulip, Birthday Wish Fairy, S. Bear Bergman (Flamingo Rampant)
• Backwards Day, S. Bear Bergman (Flamingo Rampant)
• Be Who You Are, Jennifer Carr (Author House)
• Be Yourself (Swirsky)
• The Boy and the Bindi (Shraya)
• Goblinheart, Brett Axel (East Waterfront Press)
• I Am Jazz (Herthel)
• Introducing Teddy (Walton)
• Jacob’s New Dress (Hoffman)
• Jesse’s Dream Skirt, Bruce Mack (Lollipop Power)
• Julian is a Mermaid and Julian at the Wedding (Love)
• Lilly Loves Beards, Carol Thompson Gardner (Tellwell Talent)
• My Princess Boy, Cheryl Kilodouis (Aladdin/Simon Schuster)
• Neither (Anderson)
• One of a Kind, Like Me (Mayeno)
• The Princess Knight, Cornelia Funke (Scholastic/Chicken House)
• Sparkle Boy (Newman)
• When Aiden Became a Brother (Lukoff)
• When Kathy is Keith, Wallace Wong (Xlibris)

Middle readers

• Both Can Be True (Machias)
• From Alice to Zen and Everything in Between (Atkinson)
• Frankie and Bug (Forman)
• George (Gino)
• Gracefully Grayson (Polinsky)
• Obie is Many Enough (Bailer)
• The Pants Project (Clarke)
• Rabbit Chase (LaPensée)

Where to get these resources

To find copies of these books and other resources listed above:

• Call or visit the BC Children’s Hospital Family Support and Resource Centre — You can borrow several health resources from the centre. They offer pick up in Vancouver or you can have them mailed to your home (return postage included). Search “transgender” in their library for a full listing of resources.
• Call or visit your local library — The library may have copies of these books or they may be able to order them from other libraries.
• Contact the Trans Care BC health navigation team — For more information about accessing resources in your community.